Is’nt hard to start ?

Don’t be afraid to start all over agin !

I am wondering how hard it is to do something different. Not different as a new thing, more of the new habit. All my life, I wish I could be a writer; I do always keep a diary, and never let anyone read it. Sometimes when I go back and read them, I feel so sad, either it was a bad day, or it was a good day, and I missed it. All this time, I was thinking to start sharing and writing down the words I always wanted. I guess, As you get older, you less think about keeping your experience to yourself.

Sometimes it is hard to explain every feeling, or often you don’t see any reason to justified whatever emotion you are having. At least I was on that boat for many years, I kept everything for myself, afraid to open up about my doubts, anger, happiness, etc. Never talk about what is essential for me and why I do what I am doing in my life. However, recent experience shows me the other side of the road, and I see how important it is to share what do I care about and what is it to drive me to move forward.

I guess you are thinking of the COVID 19 pandemic, and you are halfway there, but the main reason was my previous job. Long story short, last December, I decided to resign my position and gave my self a couple of months to up-skill and get ready for the job that I thought suited me best.
On mid-December 2019, I took an extended vacation, and I flew back to Iran- my beautiful home county – to spend some free time with my parents and sibling. Every time I went there, my brother asks me “how long you are staying” and no matter what my answer is, he will be disappointed and tell me that is so soon I wish you could stay longer. Still, this time was different, I said to him, I could stay as long as I want and I don’t have to go back to Sydney on a specific date. At first, he gave me that smile that I am not trading for a million box. In a split second, that smile faded to a series of questions, why you are not going back, is everything alright? Did someone upset you? The answer was easy to tell him I resigned. Still, I didn’t want to make him worry and didn’t what to explain myself why I quit, so I ended up told him, I ask my boss to stay longer and work remote from Iran. He was happy, and I was pleased but two distinct happiness.

January 2020, my husband and I have attended a conference in Lausanne for a week. Such a fantastic city, it didn’t take that long Ehsan, and I feel in love with the city, people and scenery. Thirteen years living in Sydney gets us forgot the snowy season. We drove from Lausanne to Chamonix in snow, such an enjoyable experience, and often we pulled over to make a snowball and throw at each other like we were kids. Meanwhile, we both agreed that it would be fantastic if we have the chance to live here for a while to experience a new culture. To clarify, before I resigned from my previous job, I secured a position which supposed to start in late March 2020, and my husband has a decent job in Syndey. Thus the idea of moving to Switzerland was like a long term plan for the future.

After a week in Lausanne, we were backed to Iran to spend more time with my family. It didn’t take long that Coronavirus hit the news and everyone mumbling about this new disease. Such a mysterious illness, I guess till then nobody takes it seriously. There is an Iranian saying that everything wrong is happening for others. By Mid February, Iran government decided to impose some measurement to prevent the COVID 19 spread. Everyone had to stay home and only allowed to go out to buy essential. Everyone was anxious, and nobody knew what is going to happen, the news was terrifying, every channel talking about how dangerous is this disease.

At that point for me, nothing changed; my family and I are not that social. We don’t have many friends so lockdown doesn’t change our lives that much, we can’t go out and drive around. Everything was going great; The only concern was how fast COVID19 spread around and unfortunately, some people lost their lives. Suddenly everything changed as my flight to Sydney got cancelled because of COVID19 and its restriction. Soon, I found my self on the phone looking for the first flight to Sydney ( I had to back to Sydney before mid-March as I supposed to start my new job in late March). After some back and force phone calls finally, I found a ticket to Sydney via London. Not only it was a relief for me but also my whole family. The day I was travelling, my dad told me I never happy for you to go, but this time I am so glad that you are going to Sydney.

Arriving in Sydney wasn’t as we planned, at the airport we’ve been told to self-isolate for about ten days. We went home and stayed for ten days, not even seeing my little sister who studies here in Sydney. Meanwhile, I contacted my point of contact for my new position, and soon I realised the job is no longer exist because of COVID19. The hiring manager decided to freeze new hiring, and here I am jobless. For a while, I was shocked, didn’t even know where to start! I updated my resume and then looking for a job. Contacted whoever I knew and worked with – not much luck there as somehow they are dealing with the new situation. After a while, I started to doubt myself, weeks are passing, and I didn’t even have an interview. Frustration was the only word to describe my everyday life. I wondered if I was any good in what I am doing, questioned any decision I made so far – did I chose the right field? Why on earth did I decide to resign? And many more questions.

In some point, My lovely husband suggested maybe I should look for a job anywhere and not to limit myself in Australia. Inevitably it broadens my options, but with the current situation, it was a long shot to be hopeful. Anyhow by mid-May, I was lucky enough to secure a few interviews with big companies, and I started to prepare. OMG, I need to revisit everything that I knew, and even that wouldn’t be enough, I spent the past four months without thinking about my carer. I admit I enjoyed every minute of these few months. The first things came to my mind I need to have a plan. There is no way I missed any of these opportunities; working for any of these companies is like a dream comes true. So I start with writing down what I know and not—attending online courses as much as I could—reading every article about the interview. If you are interested, you can check this post to follow my step by step interview preparation. Finally, by June 2020, I found myself a job, and my life becomes peaceful again!! I won’t start my career till mid-September ( it’s all COVID19’s fault), which is why I decided to do something different – start writing my first blog.

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